addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize