all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
you never un-have a 4some
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
