my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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