Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
