i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
