You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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