Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
