Me. At least after what I've been through.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
