just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
