I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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