Your face is a jimmy john
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
