i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
