i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize