these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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