would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
