no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
