Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
