we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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