dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
