beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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