you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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