I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
