Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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