WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
