Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
