After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
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Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
dude. I can hear the air.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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