If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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