I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
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oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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