I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
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Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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