I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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