there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize