2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize