the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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