something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
