Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sext me about skeletons
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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