i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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