at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize