i just had sex bonerless
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I forget how to act sober
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
