I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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