You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
