That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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