There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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