the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
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Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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