so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
