I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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