So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This toilet bowl is my home.
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