I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
