i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
