So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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