im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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