In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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