what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
