we made out on top of his cat.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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