took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
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i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
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Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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