Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
