i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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