And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
