Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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