After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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