Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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