I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
