at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
