areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im holly from the hills drunk
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
