I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
