would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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